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OCD
Imagine thinking
And now imagine that you aren't thinking
But thinking at the same time
That these thoughts that you're thinking aren't actually what you're thinking
Crazy, correct?
Correct, unless you know how it feels
Like the strings are being pulled and tangled
The thoughts morph themselves into these contraptions
These beasts that you only can tame sometimes
Sometimes
Where you think about these thoughts
These odd thoughts
These uncharacteristic thoughts
And you know that you would never do such a thing
Never think of such a thing
These thoughts are ridiculous
You know they're ridiculous
But here you are
Beating yourself up for even thinking such a thought
Even though the thought isn't yours
You know it isn't yours
"But whose thought is it then?
Are there more than one of me in my head?
Where do these thoughts come from?
Why am I even asking these questions?
Do I even need to ask these questions?
Should I stop asking these questions?
If I ask these questions will everything be okay?"
Thinkthinkthinkthinkthink
Thinkthinkthinkthink
Thinkthinkthink
Thinkthink
Think
Stop
Restart
Like a siege
A constant siege
Tidal waves in and out
The thoughts leave
And the thoughts come racing back
Oh sanity where art thou
The feeling of abandonment
Drowning underneath
They wouldn't last ten minutes
Ten seconds
The skeptics and doubters
They don't understand
They probably never will
It's like waltzing through a minefield
But I fight back
We fight back
Sufferers become silent warriors
Fighting in silent wars
Constantly fighting
Constantly winning
Constantly losing
Climbing out of holes
Falling through trapdoors
"Maybe something will happen today?
Maybe something will happen today?
Did the house explode?
Was I in a car wreck?
I hope I wasn't in a car wreck
What if I'm in a car wreck?
What if I die in a car wreck?
What if I die today?
Maybe I'll die today?"
(This is all before lunch)
Thinkaboutit
Thinkaboutit
Thinkthinkthink
Thinkthink
Think
Stop
Restart
In times of trouble
Please tell yourself
"I know who I am
And I am not these thoughts
The war goes on and on and on
On and on and on
And I will never let it stop
Because if I do
I lose
No thank you
Not today
Not tomorrow
Never"
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