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~Saint or Sinner?~ Saint or Sinner?

Two words I spend pondering on
and at times my heart and mind spin
lingering confusion,
but I know that God and Jesus love me.

When we speak upon religion
now that is where it gets hard.
Most all have a common factor
but then again, some do not.

I walked away from the Church
when I was just 15.
A young teen had her reasons
even as a woman now, they are clearly seen.

The label, "the black sheep of the family."
Though none of us are free from sin.
I have always been an open book
the good,the bad, but never hidden
nor going unseen.
The judgement comes down on me,
like a thundering cloud from Heaven.

I ponder, often more so now than ever before.
They claim to be,"the only true ones"
"The only true church ordained by God",
yet again, where is a Christian attitude
when I do not believe exactly like you.?

Jesus died upon the cross, to take away our sin.
He gave the ultimate gift then,
and the main word for us,TO FORGIVE...
So why cant they?

Saint or Sinner?
Well I am not rightly sure.
I know my good,I know my bad
but I love, I live,
I do not steal, nor kill.

Iv found a little church these days
that is right down the road.
Iv attended faithfully,but a full member as of yet I am not.
It is not the church I was raised in,
but I enjoy what the Pastor has to say.
One would think I did the worst deed
because a different decision Iv made.

Iv tried to fully believe,
in the Church that I was brought up in.
Try as I might, some of it just doesn't set right
so a different decision Iv made.

I do not believe in pretending,
Id rather be open and honest.
After all you can fool the Bishop, cant you?
But you cannot fool our God.
A hypocrite I am not.

I was referred to by family as the "lost sheep"
and was told Id be certainly going to hell.
That my place would never be the Celestial Kingdom with them
With the Lord I would never dwell.

Snubbed by the perfect self proclaimed true ones.
Forgiveness, well no there will be none for me.
Cast to the wind like a piece of trash
I'm sorry, that type of religion just isnt for me.

So keep it all to yourself.
Ill crawl back to my sinners den.
Come judgement day it may be to your dismay
that your thrown may have a burning seat.

Im not a perfect woman,
and a lovely saint I know Im not.
Iv done my fair share of sinning
but what makes you my judge?
Oh I forget, you are the "ONLY ones"
sorry but your not!

God and Jesus love me,
and I am rightly sure
that if I strive each day as best I can
to serve them.
Heaven will also be open to me.




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