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What You Cannot Know
I am a man,
I am a cheater.
I am terrible with finances,
I do not have patience for *****
And I certainly cannot abide useless people,
Which there is an abundance it seems these days.
I am selfish
Easily angered by you,
or me, it depends.
Angered at my own failures
And having to live with the consequences.
The Bible says we reap what we sow,
I say that sounds like common wisdom.
Loving your enemies,
That is hard.
So I am not great,
I am certainly not what I ever wanted to be.
And it hurts to see those words.
I have lied, stolen, and cheated,
Putting a self I despise
On life support.
Because it looks like all I have.
I do not want the sympathy,
I am just tired of my variance.
Can you be fed up with yourself?
Can anyone really be something different?
Living under the spectral trance
Of a more heroic, chivalrous, and nobler man.
How can I kill myself and emerge,
The victor over my own apathetic lethargy?
God damn these wasted years.
I am the product of my own filthy desires.
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